a view through my own eyes

SWMBO and I had a discussion today which in itself can be a fairly rare occurence but thats another story.

This discussion resulted in the question: why are we paying out £21 a month for a Sky subscription when we don’t actually watch any extra channels any more? This then lead to us trying to work out what we did watch and the conclusion was that we only tend to watch BBC1 and BBC2 with some sport mainly Formula 1 and occasional football on ITV.

This then lead rapidly* to the decision that we should just cancel the subscription and get the card switched to a Free To Air (FTA) card which gives us a mere 120 channels rather than the silly number that we did have. The package that we had was the standard family package, no movies, no extra sport no pron no extras.

So I phoned Sky.

First there was the maze of options to deal with but once that was sussed and I had the right option “billing and account enquiries” I sat in a queue. Rather than playing piped music comprising of panpies, the Spice Girls or Neil Sedaka I had to settle for a loop of advertising: “Did you know that you can: get Sky+ and record 40 hours of shite that you didn’t know existed to ignore later, watch movies that are years old, get a credit card that gets you points or get a subsidised telephone etc etc etc” Lots of great stuff.

Fifteen minutes later I was through to a call centre probably near New Delhi and I half expected the male Indian voice flushed with success from the mornings cricket (bah) to answer “Good afternoon this is Mr Tulkinghorn” (I have been watching an episode of Bleak House every day as part of my daily TV ration from SWMBO, at least the GP is on early so I can get up watch it and go back to bed before SWMBO wakes up ), but instead it was “Hello my name is Silvester how can I help you?”. At this point I clearly upset matters by asking to have my account cancelled and was told that I needed to phone another number or go in a queue for eleven (so precise) minutes. I took the number in case I got bored and went back into the queue.

The same advertising loop kicked in again with the sound fading up and down this time making it sound like a dodgy record charts recording that I did as a kid with a tape recorder next to the radio. Anyway at this point SWMBO and I joked that the call centre used to be somewhere up north and bet they are putting us back through to Glasgow or wherever is used to be.

Eventually (just over eleven minutes – not a bad guess Silvester) an operator answered the phone with the refreshing accent of someone from the British Isles probably Scotland “Hello welcome to Sky how can I help you today?”. I replied that I wanted to cancel the contract, “Ah just one minute please” [while I work out how to do that cos its not on my script]. “Right can I ask why you want to cancel the contract?”, “Yes because I can’t find anything worth watching”, “There are plenty of interesting channels have you tried the discovery channel?” At this point I considered pointing out that the Discovery Channel shows repeats like most of the other channels do but couldn’t be bothered. “I just want to cancel the contract.”, “Ah OK let me work out how to do this” [shit shit shit this is definately not on the script]……… “Ah yes we can do that, the account needs 30 days as agreed and will be cancelled”.

Excellent. Job done. Thirty minutes on the phone but finally its cancelled twenty quid a month saved which can be better spent elsewhere on something that we will actually benefit from.

BTW: for the interested, still VERY light sensitive, still need pain killers not got bored yet. Yay for Radio 4, 5 and a collection of audiobooks.

* Note: that this was the only rapid part of this process

Since I had to see the consultant this afternoon Nurse SWMBO (think Nurse Ratched on acid*) decided that I could leave the house and have a bite to eat first.

So on a gloomy day out I went in sun glasses and jolly pleased I did as well as to be honest day light in fact any strong light hurts, before I had the op it was just plain uncomfortable now it hurts.

The hospital appointment was at 4:50 so feeling a bit keen we got there around 4:15, however there was a wait. A looooong wait. I saw the assistant to test my eye at around 6 and the consultant at around 6:40! Talking to the nurse I was told that he had been overbooked for the afternoon – slots are marked every 15 mins as per NHS norm however corneal appointments take around 30 mins. Go figure.

Anyway the eye test for my left eye came out as: 6/24 and 6/9 with pinhole glasses. I figured that was quite good as without my glasses my left (grafted) eye is much better than my right eye!

Once I saw the consultant he said that the eye test was incredible and that he was very happy with that and wished that they all went so well. I had my eye pressure measured – that was odd just plain odd. I will describe that bit when I can work out how! Anyway the eye pressure is at 17 (what unit I have no idea) and is well within normal limits. The consultant announced that things were looking good and to carry on taking both lots of drops 4 times a day for the next three weeks and come back and see him then. In the meantime take ibuprofen for the pain, don’t do any lifting and try and rest as much as possible.

So well to put it bluntly I am muchly happy.

Thankyou Nurse SWMBO for making me do sod all and just rest.

* If you don’t know who Nurse Ratched is you need to watch One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.

1.

Due to the delicacy of the eye I have to wear an eye shield in bed at night, this is so that don’t catch it with a corner of the pillow, rub it in my sleep or get elbowed in the eye by SWMBO. This in itself is not a major issue. So every evening out comes the shield and the surgical tape and I end up looking like the walking wounded.

However come the morning the shield has to come off, which in itself isn’t a major issue however removing surgical tape hurts and I can live with that. There is always of course the possibility of ending up with no eyebrows but thats a risk I take. What annoys me though is that the glue on surgical tape seems to stay on my face, scrubbing shifts it however there is a largish chunk of my face where scrubbing is not an option and so part of my face remains gungy and gluey. So suggestions on removing surgical tape cleanly are welcome.

2.

Maxidex eye drops are steroid based and are needed four times a day, as previously mentioned they do work their way via the tear duct into the back of the throat and to be honest they taste absolutely awfull to the extent that sometimes I feel like I am going to retch. Why can’t the manufacturers make them taste just a little less appauling?

3.

My iPod died today, dead as a doornail. This was a terrible loss as its full(ish) of audio books that are essential survival equipment. There was as I briefly googled a moment of panic. Then handily on Apples’ site I found:

http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=61705

Which has instructions for performing a iPod hardware reset, trivial to do but certainly not documented with the iPod that I know of nor obvious.

I wonder how many iPods have been junked because a hardware reset was needed.

Taken today – five days post-op. For the technically minded, photo taken and cropped on a Sony-Ericsson W800i mobile phone. Eye is still very painful and light-sensitive. Anaesthetic has definitely worn off now.

[Typed by Sherpa SWMBO]
Well, I’ve survived the weekend. I think the anaesthetic has just about worn off at last as I know realise my eye feels as if some evil bugger has been sticking needles in my eye which isn’t actually too far from the truth. Ibuprofen eases the pain and I do still feel fairly drowsy. The bruising is clearing and eye drops keep dropping though it has to be said that one of them seems to work its way into my throat via my tear ducts and tastes absolutely vile. The other one is just plain evil as it has to be stored in the fridge and boy, does that sting when it is dropped in the eye. Vision seems to be good compared to what I had before but I know realistically that this is going to change over time and I’ve already been told that I won’t be able to have my eyes tested for a prescription for several months. I seem to be incredibly light-sensitive at the moment which is a pain but is at least bearable and means that the radio and audio books are getting a good working out. Sometimes its horribly frustrating, on the other hand, it is also a pleasure. I managed to listen to Liverpool thump Everton at the weekend on Radion 5, been on a Googlewhack adventure with Dave Gorman, had an adventure with Harry Potter, and escaped from Colditz Castle with Dr Who. So its been exciting times indeed, from a certain point of view.

I have been to see my GP today and have been signed off work for two weeks with strict instructions to rest, not do anything, and to enjoy being pampered. I have been instructed to return to see her in two weeks rather than just going straight back to work. Oh well.

In the meantime, the hardest thing is having to sit and watch SWMBO do all the jobs around the house that I would normally do as well as her own. Poor thing, she deserves a break but I do appreciate it and love her very much.

[Typed by SMWBO]
Back to the hospital today, courtesy of our friend Martin who is an NHS manager, so I wonder if this counts as an ambulance service Martin had a meeting so he said he’d wander by the Outpatients when he’d finished and see how things were going.

We waited in Clinic B which always seems to be a hive of activity with a long row of chairs facing a long row of consulting rooms as consultants and nurses appeared to pop out of different doors seemingly at random to bellow your name and summon you in. The consultant arrived looking rather rough, it has to be said, with his bow tie loose and his shirt rather crumpled.

We sat there and Sam wrote down lots of questions for me to allow for my brain failure. My excuse was that I was still feeling groggy from the anaesthetic. After a while, a nurse called me in and took off my eye patch and gave the eye a gentle wipe round. Then the consultant appeared, he looked in my eye with a slit lamp, added some orange dye and took another look and announced that the stitches were looking good and he was pleased with it so far. I glanced up and realised that not only could I see the letter board (Snellen chart) with my newly grafted eye but that I could also make out the letter A and this was despite peering through a pile of gunk, orange dye, and my eyelashes as I could barely open it. I mentioned this and the consultant smiled. I felt so happy. For the last few years, I wouldn’t even have been able to see the board.

He said I should take the drops, two lots, Maxidex which is a steroid and also Chloramphenicol which is an antibiotic; one drop of each, four times a day. At this point, we took the opportunity to ask lots of questions which included:
* how long will I be off work for – see GP on Monday, should be off for two weeks then we’ll take it from there
* what can I and can’t I do – nothing strenuous; lifting, carrying, no heavy exertion, no eye rubbing, no soap in the eye, wash the area only with cold water

I was told to come back the following Thursday.

I left the consultant’s being rather pleased and over the moon. Usefully we didn’t have to wait long for Martin, our ever-trusty NHS ambulance driver! and he took me home. Stepping out into bright sunlight, I suddenly realised quite how bloody painful the eye actually is as if someone has put hot needles in my eye (which isn’t too far from the truth). We went home, I took some painkillers, put in some eye drops and passed out. I also managed to take a close up picture of my eye which shows the stitches really quite nicely. It will appear here soon when I can get SWMBO to Photoshop the picture down to a sensible size.

Continued the sushi feast and passed out.

[Typed by SWMBO due to being banned from going near a computer]
Eight o’ clock in the morning! No, seven forty-five in the morning, we arrived a bit early as the ophthalmology suite at the K&C doesn’t open until 8. Graham whizzed us up there and helped with the inane small talk that seems to precede these occasions. I was delighted to find that the gents was flooded so I popped in the disabled and spent some of the time wondering why they had a life belt. It was only when I left that I realised it was a riser seat. I did feel like a bit of a fool.

The ophthalmology suite looks shiny and new. Well, recent, anyway; as it was only built in 2001 according to the plaque on the wall. It is a lovely duck egg blue which is actually quite restful. I seemed to be the only patient there with two or three other staff shuffling papers and making the first tea of the day. I registered in and the nurse came out with a big mound of paperwork. I confirmed my name, address, date of birth and shoe size. She explained that others would want to see me then I would be called in for my operation. When I’d had it, I would be dressed and returned to the comfy seats in the waiting area and then showed me some exercises to avoid deep vein thrombosis. She also explained that I’d have to have something to eat and drink and use the loo before they’d let me go. I had not one but two wristbands so I had the pleasure of knowing who I was in stereo.

The anaesthesiologist came out and was in good humour. He asked if I was allergic to anything and confirmed my name, my date of birth etc etc. Around twenty minutes later, another anaesthesiologist came out and did exactly the same as the first one. They explained that it was a paranoia check and was for my benefit – honest.

The consultant then appeared and led me into a side room and had a look at my eye in the slit lamp. He also asked if my prescription had changed for my right eye since I’d seen him 6 months ago. I confirmed that it had. He then produced a mound of paperwork and started to read through it signing here and there. He then explained that he cannot guarantee that the operation would be a success and that there is a slight chance of rejection and asked if I definitely wanted to go ahead. I confirmed that I did and signed on the dotted line. I asked whether I was due for a partial or full thickness transplant. He explained that he was hoping to do a partial thickness one but that depended on the internal condition of the cornea so he would if need be change it to a full thickness.

After a short while, one of the anaesthesiologists came to collect me and took me to a small side room. They asked me to take off my clothes and leave on my underwear. I put on a gown and then the dressing gown provided. I noted that the dressing gown, like those provided in hotels, was a foot too short in any direction and felt rather silly but didn’t really care. So I opened the door and the anaethesiologist stood there and laughed. I laughed as well and asked if they put a small gown there on purpose. He just smiled and led me across the corridor.

We walked into the room opposite and they closed the door. It wasn’t a large room but it had a trolley bed and a myriad of medical apparatus all around. They asked me to lay down, put various sensors on my neck and my chest, and a cap on my head. They took my glasses and hearing aids and promised to look after them. I was asked if I was left or right-handed and then explained that they would feed the anaesthetic into the hand that wasn’t and said that there would be a slight scratch as the needle entered my arm and that was all there was. Then an oxygen mask was put over my head and the anaethesiologist’s assistant (now there were three of them!) started to inject something into my arm. I felt my hand going numb and the numbness spreading up my arm. I commented on this and they said “that’s good, that is what supposed to happen and smiled”. I asked about the red X on the ceiling and was told that was for cataract patients…..

…..I woke up. And noticed that my hearing aid was whistling so I adjusted it. The anaesthesis-whatsit-whatsit asked how I was feeling. I said groggy, though in truth, I felt pissed. I asked how it had gone and they said it had gone according to plan. Now my memory gets a bit hazy. I think I was led down the corridor to the reception area. (SWMBO tells me that there was a wheelchair involved.) The next thing I remember is having a rather manky corned beef sandwich thrust at me and a cup of water which I nibbled on to my disgust. Handily, SWMBO had a HobNob flapjack which was much more appetising ☺. I was asked to return to the Outpatients clinic the following morning to be checked out by the consultant. Jenny, Graham’s wife, took us home.

All I can really remember now is feeling really groggy. No pain. My eye patched up and watering a little and a huge plate of sushi that Sam had made and talking briefly to my dad on the phone. I think my friend Martin popped round.

A day of lifting and carrying, chimney sweeping, putting stuff in the loft, getting stuff out of the loft and last minute shopping for supplies whilst I’m still able to do so.

It occured to me in mid morning that I’d been sneezing a lot and had been for a few days and I phoned the hospital as I didn’t want to arrive and be chucked out straight away for wasting their time. I explained that I’d been sneezing in the mornings for the last few days but that it seemed to clear up in the afternoon. They asked me if my breathing was ok. I said yes, just sneezing and I was told not to worry. Phew, thought I.

We decided to finish off the day with a home-made sushi banquet and Sam found some dim sum and enormous tiger prawns from somewhere. Jolly good it was too! Amazingly I had no trouble going to sleep. I just knew that this is the right thing to do.

Today courtesy of mrspao putting stuff up on freecycle (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/canterburyfreecycle/), we have managed to offload:
1 desk, 3 bookcases, 4 bags of excess building sand, 3 sash windows and half a board of left over cellotex.

This stuff has been cluttering up either the house or the garden for the last few years, and now it is gone.

Hurrah!

Renault
Won the championship last year, I can’t see good reason why they won’t do well this year to be honest. Alsonso leaves at the end of the year for McLaren but that should not affect his performance but that could well destabilise the team, I suspect that the team may get behind Fisichella if only subconsciously. If the car is capable of winning the championship then Renault may want Fisichella to win if they have to make a choice as the no “1″ goes with the driver. Is Fisi capable of doing well? Yes I think he is.

McLaren
Apparently they had last years best car, results don’t necessarily show that and I quite agree, if they had the best car they would have won one of the championships – they won none. Well in testing this year the Merc engine has detonated fairly frequently so no change there then. The car may well be quick, but like previous McLarens could well be fragile. The drivers however will both be out to do well since Alonso is confirmed for next next year, apparently neither Raikonen or Montoya have contracts for next year – so be ready for daggers at dawn.

Ferrari
Well last year was a disaster, this year is unlikely to be quite that bad, however last years car was the first that wasn’t designed by Rory Burne (he had a backseat role) and nor is this years. Was last year a one off? We will see. Meanwhile Schumacher is going to have to work like he hasn’t before (demonstrated by his testing late last year when usually he would be on vacation), Barrichello has gone and I think he did most of the donkey work and was a perfect no 2. Meanwhile Massa has arrived – to be honest he hasn’t impressed.

Toyota
Qualifying was their thing last year. Can they race this year? I don’t honestly know – they have to perform as their budget was and is bigger than everyone elses. I think that this is the year when we find out whether Mike Gasgoine is the uber technical director that he is made out to be. One thing they do appear to have got right and I don’t understand why other teams don’t do the same, is to get the car out early during the winter to get it working well and then bring the aero package out for the start of the season, at least they know the car works. So assuming that the car is good Trulli will I think do well, Ralf Schumacher well he has never impressed me due to his lack of consistency (he can after all totally dominate but does so so rarely) and how he commands his vast salary I really do not know.

Williams
Williams could well be this years dark horse. They have survived the split with BMW and from what I see have knuckled down with Cosworth to get the car to work and work well. Cosworth are I believe likely to produce the best V8 for this year as they have years of experience of producing V8s for other formulas. In the meantime if Williams have been able to do what they know how to do then they should do well and probably trouble the larger manufacturer backed teams. Webber is hungry for a win, but to be honest I am not sure about him, there is no doubt he is good, but last year he was roundly beaten by Heidfeld head-to-head (who don’t forget didn’t appear in the last five races due to injuries) and only came out ahead at the end of the year. Rosberg is an unknown quantity as far as F1 goes, but is apparently very intelligent and scored the highest ever results in the Williams driver engineering test.

Honda
This is a team that doesn’t know how to win. Testing has yielded impressive results but they did that last year and came didn’t do really well. I expect that Honda like Toyota are under immense pressure from the boardrooms in Japan to win, will they do it? I have no idea. They do however have a reasonable driver pairing and I beleive that Barichello will certainly give Button a run for his money and Button don’t forget has yet to win a race so that monkey is still on his back.

Red Bull
Last years car was really a Jaguar that they inherited and had already been designed for last year. This years car is the first real Red Bull and it is only now that they will find out quite how good they are. Money is not an issue that is evident but look at Honda and Toyota and money doesn’t win races. However they do now have Newey poached from McLaren who is the most successfull F1 designer of the last 15 years. However Newey won’t really have any affect until mid season at the earliest and more likely next years car. Coulthard gives knowledge and experience from the driver view and I reckon that he can do the job if the car is up to it. Klien on the other hand well he has not made a great impression on me.

BMW Sauber
Nominally a new team, however this year is really going to be another Sauber also-ran with a BMW doing the pushing. I think they will be midfielders again and only over the next year or so will move forward. Villeneuve and Heidfeld bring vast quantities of experience and will I think wring every once out of the car. I believe Nick will blow Jacques away this year.

Midland
I just don’t see that they will do any better than last year to be honest, Midland seems to be a here because they are the sort of team using F1 purely for advertising. I just don’t see any will to win or enthusiasm. However its not all bad as Monteiro last year finished all but one races so at least he can get the car home and they shouldn’t be short of poke with a Toyota engine in the back of the car.

Scuderia Tora Rosso
The old Minardi team, with last years Red Bull cars and a restricted Cossie V10. I expect them to head up the bottom three and probably give Red Bull a run for their money (though they are the RB 2nd team) and that could be embarrassing for the no1 RB team. As for the drivers well Liuzzi didn’t get much chance to show what he can do but clearly enough to get a second crack at the whip. Scott Speed (what a name) has a great chance to impress and a yank in F1 is a good thing for the sports image in the US.

Super Aguri
Well these boys have come from nowhere. They have four year old Arrows cars which were not quick four years ago. Allegedly they have a new car appearing mid season – well we will see. I think that they have rushed things to get on the grid this year and probably should have waited. The Honda engine should be reasonable though. At least Midland shouldn’t have to worry about coming last this year.