a view through my own eyes

Does three and a bit months make the longest break in this blog? I am not sure I know, I really have no desire to look and there are no prizes if anyone does tell me. Anyhow the interlude has had ups and downs, if I had posted this a week ago (as I intended) then I would have said:

Life is good and the trials of the previous three months have been overcome and I can happily look forward.

What I have to say instead is:

Life is now good and the trials of the previous three months along with a blocked kidney on Monday that is the singular most painful experience I have ever encountered have been overcome and I can happily look forward.

Which I guess is not all that different, but this does require the following:

Very many thanks to the emergency Doctor Service, Accident & Emergency, X-Ray and CT Imaging Services and the Doctors and Nurses on Clarke Ward at the Kent & Canterbury Hospital. I doubt any of them will see this – but thank you.

I have some thoughts about what to do with this blog going forwards, one of which is to shut it down and remove it. Another is to convert it into static HTML and let it stand as a testament to drivel on the internet. Alternatively I can continue documenting the bizarre stuff that keeps happening to me and share some of the things that I am doing. Don’t worry though there is no poll asking – and so no prizes at this time, the decision will be my own.

It has been a while, but fear not I am still around. Will spare all the details as they really are not necessary and certainly don’t need to be broadcast on the internet.

Life is I think settling down to normal after being allergic to the stitches put in my eye, spending 7 days out of 10 in hospital, having a load of tests done and spending a few weeks stoned on codeine. On the whole the period has been exciting, exhilarating, worrying and in some ways uplifting.

The good news is that I don’t have cancer – which was a real fear and no I am not kidding.

The bad news is that I am probably going to have periods of severe abdominal pain for the rest of my life – this should manageable through a sensible diet and painkillers.

Well it is now two weeks post-op, were things according to plan tomorrow I would be returning to work. Instead Sunday night I woke up with that sore stabbing feeling that really should not be happening and which then led to phone calls to the hospital first thing in the morning.

It turns out that my body is trying to reject the stitches that are holding some of the muscles in place on my eye as it realises that they are a foreign object. As a result my eye is inflamed and very painful. The stitches can’t just be removed as they are holding things together and they are a bit of a sod to get to. So for now lots of steroid drops to help reduce the inflammation and opiates to mask the pain.

Today I am just a bit browned off and tired and awake and getting irritable.

And the RSS feeds appear to have hosed themselves again. This time without me changing a damn thing.

Sigh – it can wait for now.

So somewhere between August and December my blog umm rogered itself causing at least the RSS feeds to be nigh on useless. Not entirely sure what happened or why and lacking the enthusiasm and willingness of my eyes to investigate in detail, however it should be fixed now. I may even start to add to the rubbish on the internet more often!

A few months ago for my birthday mrspao bought me an iPad, I have to admit that although we have an Apple equipped house the iPad had never really hit the radar as an essential item maybe a toy. Since then the iPad has had a reasonable amount of use as a IT item that is useful, certainly desirable but I could live without it and to be honest it would not replace the desktop or laptop.

Since having another eye op earlier this week, the iPad has really come into it’s own and to be honest I have barely touched a normal computer. So this week it has enabled me to do the following in comfort, in bed and be one easily portable item to lug around, part of this admittedly is because I can hold it close to my head so I can read the screen with my left eye when I don’t have my glasses on (a reasonable amount of time due to the eye shield I have to wear):

• read my email
• surf the web
• watch live TV (via the EyeTV app – back to the PVR elsewhere in the house)
• listen to audiobooks and music
• play the odd game (Battle for Wesnoth 59 pence is an utter bargain btw)
• read a book
• blog!

To be fair although I have done all of the above to some extent or another I will be the first to admit that the iPad is perfect at none of the above individual tasks – there are better solutions for each of these. But the point is that it is good enough at doing the above, more importantly is not a hindrance and on the whole a pleasure to use. Most importantly I can easily use it, in bed, in an armchair, stretched on the sofa – just about anywhere. The same cannot be said for a laptop or a desktop. Finally there are things like sorting my photos that I am never going to be able to do on the iPad and that is fine. It is not a main computer replacement if anything it is a modern day IT equivalent of the swiss army penknife.

The PadPad as it seems to be known as in this house has certainly made things easier in the last few days, is definitely making convalescence more bearable. Mrs Osborne – I thank you.

Eye update: definitely painful and weepy. Painkillers needed to manage the pain but keep these to a minimum as they make me drowsy and then I get a bit frustrated that I cannot just get on and do stuff. Oh well.

Tuesday was eye operation day. This is number four in five years, so it is almost a regular occurrence and not a particularly pleasurable one at that.

I will spare the gory details and even a photograph on this occasion – the former I don’t really want to go over and the latter is just too much effort at present whilst the eye is a rather red shade.

This time though it was the first op on my right eye – adjusting the muscles. The reason for this is that although I am right eye dominant (most people are one of the other) I can also choose which eye I use as I have no sense of 3D vision (I sneer at IMAX cinemas as a waste of money). The upshot of this was then when switching to my left eye, the right eye would drift upwards leading to an interesting visual perception lurch for me and then result in motion sickness if I carried on using the left eye.

Normally this would be not a problem as the obvious answer is: don’t use the left eye. However things are complicated by the keratoconus which resulted in a cornea transplant in my left eye five years ago and is present although dormant in my right eye. Dormant is the key word here as it could potentially start off again in my right eye and I end up being unable to see in my right eye until it too has had a cornea transplant and couple of years of healing. Hence the need to sort the muscles out in the right eye now so I can use the left one properly in the event that the keratoconus does start up again.

To be fair I did know six years ago that all of this would be happening so it is not a suprise and has been planned and managed.

Post operatively things are visually entertaining, I can open my right eye sort of (this hurts a lot), I can use my left eye but then the muscles (that were operated on) try and pull on my right eye (this hurts a lot). So either way it hurts rather a lot. The good news is that visually using my left eye, the lurch no longer happens and I am much more comfortable using the eye – which was what was wanted from the start.

At the moment I am certain that the GA and the painkillers fed to me at the time have now worn off (the pain is the clue) and paracetamol during the day and codeine at night are keeping on top of it. The concern now though is that my body may try to reject the stitches that went in Monday – like it did this time last year. Should have a better idea on that in a few days as the pain should start to decrease rather than increase.

BTW: the GA didn’t agree with me at all and I can confirm that Jaffa Cakes have the same taste and texture in both directions.

Earlier today in need of a new transformer for one of our halogen recessed lights I popped in to Screwfix in order to purchase a new transformer. Whilst I rummaged through the catalogue and filled in the order slip I overheard the following:

“Are you sure that you can get what you need here?” “Yes dear.” “Do you really know what you are doing?” “Yes dear.” “Look we can always get someone in if you are not certain.” “Yes dear.” “Well if you are really sure then.” “Yes dear.”

The couple then left to go to the order counter and joined the queue, followed by me a moment or so later.

Once they were being served, I overheard the following:

“Hello Mr Jones, order slip ready is it?” “Yes thanks Frank” “On your usual trade account?” “Yes please” “You seem to be getting lots of plumbing work at the moment.” “Yes, plenty of customers keeping me busy what with heating playing around and the odd pipe bursting where it has been cold. Good work being a plumber at the moment.” “On a job today are you?” “No, this is for home.”

Priceless.

Yesterday morning was supposed to be simple. Go to hospital go to place A for an appointment, then to place B for another unrelated appointment 1hr 45 mins later. Do some work on laptop between appointments to save 40 mins of walking back and forth.

So, I arrive at appointment A a bit early, get out the laptop and start finishing off a load of forms. Appointment A actually takes place around 30 mins later than it should because as the person I was seeing put it: “The previous patient would not shut up”. Anyway that is OK as there is plenty of time before appointment B.

Realising that I needed to provide a water sample for appointment B and lacking a suitable container I popped round to B early and enquired about a sample pot and was asked why as they were not expecting anyone today. So producing letter this causes raised eyebrows, a frown and information to the effect that the Mrs V who does ECGs, blood samples etc is not in today anyway, but they will make some calls. Fifteen minutes later I am told that although the letter says I should go to B with a sample, I really need to be at C for different appointments altogether.

Slightly baffled I go to C, where I am told by friendly nurse that really I need to be at D. Arriving at D I am told to wait, eventually I am summoned forth to E for a load of measurements by Mr W to check what needs to be done and ensure that they know what they are doing. Then I am advised not to go yet but to head back to D, arriving there I am advised that I then need to return to C and to wait for Mr X. At C, I settle down and finish off the work I started on earlier. Mrs Y appears and says that I will be seen at B after I have seen Mr X after all and just to sit tight. After a while Mr X appears take me to E and the measurements are repeated, consent forms are filled in and questions are asked and answered.

Feeling like I am on a roll at this point I head back to B, where indeed this time they are expecting me, sort of. Mrs Z then informs me that although she can do what needs to be done, there is a problem in that she is in and out of theatre all day and so I can either spend the next few hours waiting between doing different bits of the pre-op paperwork and related tests or maybe it will be best to come back next week and see Mrs V who will be able to do the whole lot in about an hour which to be honest will be a whole lot easier.

Now to be honest I am not fussed about heading back next week to do the pre-op stuff, what mildly entertained me was that until I arrived at D, I did not know that I would also be seeing a consultant and an orthoptist and so was really having 2 appointments that I didn’t know about rather than 1 that I thought I knew about but nobody else did.

Somewhere in between that lot I also managed to pop into T and put a sample S into pot P. Which they did not actually want anyway until I see Mrs V next week. So pot P with sample S was disposed of.

Just over twelve years ago I met mrspao, a couple of weeks later we were asked by a friend if we wanted two cats who needed a good home, so naturally we jumped at the chance.

This morning Merlin was put to sleep after three years of cancer.

Cheerio old lad.